A what? You read right. You are a Warrior Princess.
The first time my counselor asked me to stop and hear these words, I could not absorb them. They bounced off my forehead and landed with a splat on the floor. She has said them again and again and again over the past three years. I wish I could say that I have embraced these words, absorbed them into my core. I haven’t. Not yet. What I can say though, is that I no longer deflect them. They now penetrate my exterior, I can sit with them for a few minutes, and I can allow myself to sip in the truth of them. A little more each time. Maybe you deflected these words too, so, I’ll say it again: You are a Warrior Princess!
Let me unpack it. First of all, declaring that you are a Warrior Princess does NOT mean that you are conceited, arrogant, or self-absorbed! Declaring yourself a Warrior Princess may feel silly or strange because it is a new concept. But you are claiming what is already true. You are recognizing what you are doing and your true character.
Warrior Princess. A fierce protector, courageous defender, fighter, and independent woman. She has intrinsic value and confidence; she perseveres to the end putting the needs of others first though she is past done, because she believes the fight is worth the struggle. I certainly haven’t felt I have some of these attributes. However, when I look back at my parenting and divorce journey I see that I have done all of these things even if my feelings were not there. Do any of these resonate for you?
- Getting medical attention and seeking the many professionals who diagnosed my kids so their needs could be met.
- Accessing workshops, training, support groups, counseling, classes, naturopathic medicine, and anything else out there, even if it is a remote chance that it will have a positive impact and improve quality of life.
- Overhauling and fine-tuning my parenting strategies…again…and again….
- Choosing NOT to take it personally when I have been sworn at, been called horrible names, and been deemed the WORST PARENT EVER.
- Finding outside help when my child rages, throws things, and is a physical danger to others and myself.emotional
- Finding new approaches to connect with and reach my kids.
- Hanging up my agenda and allowing my teens to make their own decisions; then supporting them in picking up the pieces.
- Finding the courage to let go of a very sick marriage and choosing emotional, physical, and spiritual safety and health for myself and my kids.
- Despite intense fear, continuing to work on becoming emotionally healthy.
- Letting go of and adjusting some of my dreams for my kids and myself.
- Continuing to be the responsible adult when all I want to do scream is, “I am packing it in!!!”.
When I look at this list, I am surprised. I have never seen it on paper. Let me be clear though, this is not about giving myself a pat on the back and moving into Smugland so I can retire. This is about seeing the truth about myself. Accepting the truth. Embracing it. Celebrating my growth! And then, yes, giving myself a pat on the back.
Look back. Reflect. Think of how far you have come; even if you have just started the journey. What have you done to get to where you are now? Is it time to add something to your list. Reread it. Absorb it. We are all at different points on the journey that takes a lifetime. I can tell you one thing, single parenting special needs kids makes you a true Warrior Princess. So take stock of your successes and your personal growth!
You are a Warrior Princess! I am a Warrior Princess! We are Warrior Princesses! It will take time for these words reach my core. I am getting closer. I hope and pray the same for you.